I will be the first person to admit that I may have some anger issues. I have been told I have road rage. I get super angry when the Bears blow a 20 point lead and let Aaron Rodgers beat them. But nothing, and I mean NOTHING, has caused my blood pressure to spike recently more than this astonishing report that Kim Kardashian-West is either going to law school or feels like she’s going to law school because of her “criminal justice advocacy.” [The rest of this post will probably contain some salty language and it will definitely contain disparaging comments about Kim and her husband, so be forewarned. If you are fan of either of them, stop reading now. I’m not going to respond to any negative comments and I will delete them. You can express your favorable opinion of them on your own blog.]
I went to law school. I worked full-time my second-fourth years. I studied hard and did my best to learn the material. It’s not enough in this country to graduation from law school and be called an attorney. You have to have enough temerity to get through school AND pass the bar exam. And law school isn’t regular college. You can’t half-ass anything and get away with it. If your reading assignment is 200 pages, you better have read all those pages and if there is a case that only has two lines quoted, you better have gotten your groggy, exhausted ass to the library, pulled the case, and read the whole thing. Because I guarantee if you didn’t your professor will know and will not hesitate to embarrass you in front of the entire class. It’s not enough that you go through all of that. You still have to face the bar exam.
It used to be that the bar exam was three days. Days one and three consisted of three hour-long essay questions and one three-hour performance exam. The essay questions can discuss one topic of law (like torts) or several (like contracts, torts, and wills and trusts). You have to know what the question is asking you to answer and then you have to identify EVERY rule of law and EVERY exception to each rule and be able to discuss how each one does or does not apply to the fact pattern you are presented with. In an hour. Then you have to move on to the next question. In the performance exam, they provide you with a “library” of documents and you are tasked with a writing assignment – a letter, a memo, a pleading. You have to use the library, plus your general knowledge of that area of law and draft the document. In three hours.
Day two of the bar exam consists of 100 multiple choice questions in the morning and one hundred multiple choice questions in the afternoon. You have approximately 1.5 minutes per question. The questions almost always contain long fact patterns. The pages are arranged in columns and a fact pattern can easily take up a column-and-a-half. Then you have to choose the MOST correct answer, because they tell you at the beginning the correct answer may not be one of your choices. And I know from experience this is true because the last time I took the bar, I knew the correct answer and it wasn’t one of the choices.
I got through law school and took the bar exam six times. I failed every time (obviously). It’s hard not to consider ones entire life a failure when one cannot pass the bar exam. But that’s a conversation for another day.
So excuse my incredulousness at Kayne West’s assertion that his wife was attending law school. And excuse my scorn when “news” outlets like Page Six say that Kim has “lawyer” genes because her dad was an attorney. First of all, I don’t know whether Kim K. has a GED or an actual diploma, but I GUARANTEE she doesn’t have a college degree. That’s problem number one for any legit law school. Problem number two – she has to take the LSAT and I would bet my last dollar she won’t score well on it. They are logic questions, and from what I have seen of her and her siblings, they kind of lack basic logic.
Then I find out that Kayne “misspoke” when he said Kim was attending law school and that her “criminal justice advocacy” makes her feel like she’s attending law school. Kim K., listen to me sweetheart. If you think visiting Donald Trump in the White House to ask to let a woman out of prison early is exhausting (and I’m sure it is), being a lawyer is like a million times more exhausting. Do us all a favor. Go back to your “E!” show and leave the lawyering to the lawyers. Stop making it seem like going to law school or being a lawyer is (1) remotely easy and (2) something you actually want to do. Because I guarantee you don’t want to work that hard.
For anyone reading this who wants to defend her or her husband, don’t bother. You will be talking to a brick wall here. I resent that she makes it sound easy. I resent that because she’s a celebrity, some top-tier law school would probably let her in for publicity value and she would be passed along through school and probably given special dispensation to not take the bar. Layers already have a bad name. Let’s not make it worse.